“What is my purpose?”
It’s the question that won’t leave us alone. It sneaks in during quiet moments—between meetings, after the kids are in bed, or while you’re staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., wide awake and restless.
What is my purpose?
Not what I do for work… Not the role I play in my family… Not what I’m good at…
We’re talking deeper. Why am I here? Why was I created?
If you’ve been asking how to find your purpose, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most powerful—and frustrating—parts of being human. That inner tug that tells you there’s more than the daily grind, more than checking boxes, more than just staying busy. When we were younger, they sold us the lie that this was enough. Now, we know that’s not all there is.
The truth is, finding your purpose isn’t about chasing a perfect job or epic calling. It’s about alignment. It’s about uncovering what already exists in you and choosing to live it out with courage. When you find that, everything feels different—more honest, more grounded, more alive.
Why Finding Your Purpose Matters…
You could make it to the end of your life without ever finding your purpose. A lot of people do. They go through the motions—work the job, raise the kids, chase a version of success that looks good on paper. But underneath it all, there’s a quiet emptiness, a sense that something was missing. They spent years running hard… but never aimed at the right target.
Purpose gives your life depth and direction. It turns the grind into something meaningful. It brings clarity to your choices, strength in hard seasons, and a joy that runs deeper than the circumstances you’re living in. Purpose aligns your actions with your values—it helps you live intentionally instead of just reacting.
That’s what I spent the first two thirds of my life doing, reacting to life. I invested years on a treadmill that wasn’t;t going anywhere, and in the process, lost a marriage. With no purpose to guide how I shoed up every day, I drifted. And, unfortunately, I drifted away from the things that mattered most.
The reality of all this? You don’t have to find your purpose. But if you do, everything changes. Your energy shifts. Your relationships deepen. The work you do, the people you serve, the legacy you leave—it all begins to reflect something real and intentional. That’s why this matters. Your life was never meant to be lived on autopilot. It was meant to mean something, and finding your purpose is the beginning of creating that.
Why Can Finding Purpose Feel So Hard?
I’ve coached hundreds of people on this, and I know from that experience that there are a few common things that get in the way…
First, the noise. Life is loud. Between work, social media, to-do lists, and the pressure to keep up, it’s easy to stay so busy that you never stop long enough to listen to what’s happening inside you. Purpose needs space to speak, and most people never create that space. Like I shared above, this was part of my own challenge.
Second, the fear of getting it wrong. We put “purpose” on a pedestal and treat it like something we’ll carve in stone. Many people stay stuck because they’re waiting for a lightning bolt moment or perfect clarity before taking action. The truth? Purpose usually shows up while you’re moving—not while you’re standing still.
Third, comparison. “Comparison is the thief of joy”—and it’s also the thief of purpose. Looking at what everyone else is doing creates a toxic loop of doubt. We compare ourselves to other, and start to believe we’re falling behind or missing something. But purpose is personal. You don’t find it by copying someone else—you find it by digging into your own story.
Fourth, our wounds. Old pain, shame, or limiting beliefs can whisper that we’re not enough, that we don’t deserve a purposeful life. That lie keeps people small, stuck, and afraid to dream. Finding purpose requires us to get unchained from these limiting beliefs.
Fifth, we chase the wrong things. Success, money, approval, security—none of it fills the void. When your ladder is leaning on the wrong wall, even the top feels empty. That’s the wake-up call that leads many people to purpose, but not everyone listens.
Here’s the Good News…
If you’re wrestling with how to find your purpose, good. That means you’re awake.
Keep asking. Keep listening. Keep digging.
Reflect – It starts here. Look back at the moments when you felt most alive, fulfilled, and in alignment. Those memories hold clues—your values, your impact, the emotions that lit you up. Slowing down to revisit them creates the foundation for everything that follows.
Discover – Next, name the core values that matter most to you. These aren’t just feel-good words—they’re the principles that shape your decisions, relationships, and direction. This is where purpose starts to take form.
Craft – With reflection and your core values in hand, it’s time to put your purpose into words. The Personal Purpose Guide offers simple templates to help you write a purpose statement that feels real, honest, and uniquely yours. I’ve also collected some powerful examples of purpose statements to help you get started. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be true.
Align – Now comes the work: aligning your life with your purpose. That means looking at your career, your relationships, your habits, and your choices through a new lens. Are they in sync with your purpose? Or pulling you away from it? When your life aligns, everything shifts—focus sharpens, meaning deepens, and transformation begins.
Your Purpose Is Closer Than You Think
Here’s what I’ve learned after coaching so many people through this process: we make purpose harder than it has to be. But with the right questions and a clear path, finding your purpose can be simpler than you think.
That’s why I created the Personal Purpose Guide to walk you through the same process I used myself: Reflect. Discover. Craft. Align.
Your purpose isn’t somewhere “out there.” It’s already inside you. You just need to find it—and choose to live it.
Here’s to taking that first step.
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Ready for more?
If you liked this, then you might be interested in my new book, Living Life Daily. Designed to motivate and challenge you every day, this book offers 365 thought-provoking prompts that will push you to reflect, take action, and embrace meaningful change. Whether you’re striving to set clearer goals, build resilient habits, or cultivate a winning mindset, each daily entry is packed with wisdom and practical advice to help you take small steps toward big results. Find it here!
You’ll also get massive value out of the Grit Meets Growth podcast that I share with Chris Cathers. It’s for people who want more out of life… at work, at home, in their relationships, and in their health and wellness. Find it here or on your favorite podcast platform! – John
